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Weapons of persuasion

Lifeaholic | 9 November 2005, 1:16pm

The presence of a time-bomb on board the Silicons' ship was discovered only after the launch by the Normal Brains. They were horrified by that they had played a part in and did the only thing they could. They nagged the Mutants. When that did not work (Also look out for the future Chapter - Rediscovery of nagging as an art form - How a failed persuasion method works wonders on Men) they did the next best thing - which was eminently effective in launching the second great expedition for SOS (Save our Silicons). The methods used were in the form of subtle suggestions at the dominant insecurity component of the Mutant Brain, and the second expedition came to be known in common terms as "The Guilt Trip".

So, the second expedition was nearly an hour behind the first. Could they reach them in time? Could the Silicons be saved from the untimely explosion that awaited them??

Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: Still the loudest A/C in the world

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Why some women are brainy

Lifeaholic | 7 November 2005, 7:24pm

Continued from 6/11/05

The discovery and development of the brain coincided with the discovery of a certain jelly like substance which tore the Bodies apart into 2 factions - those that wanted the Brain and those who wanted the Jelly. This was a defining moment in the history of the Uterus civilisation.

The Jelly went on to be named Silicon after much deliberation by all those who chose not to have a Brain. Silicon, being a naturally ocurring substance, was well accepted by all the Bodies that chose it. The matter of the Brain was however complicated. The Uterii and Brains of over 90% of the population reacted and sprouted characteristics called Jealousy and Manipulation. These Mutant Brains were inherently incapable of logic and operated on a high index of suspicion.

The Mutant Brains, as all mutant brains do, began plans for world domination. As mathematical equations required logic, they captured some of the Normal Brains for the invention of Space travel. Cooperation was sought with the use of large silicon filled needles aimed at appropriate places.

Space travel, it was told to the Normal Brains, was mainly a measure to deport the Silicon bodies. The Silicons were convinced (by the origination of a highly effective form of mis-communication also known as Gossip) that the silicon mines of Venus were about to run out.

This was the beginning of plotting.

The Mutant Brains went on to convince the Silicons that the nearest Silicon depository was on a promised land called Earth, where the silicon mines were abundant, and whose 'Beaches' would ensure that silicon was appreciated. And so, the first great expedition for SOS (Save our silicon) was launched into space.

With a time-bomb on board.

The Silicons had only 10 hours to live. Will we ever have the pleasure of seeing silicon on a beach?

To be continued

Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: The loudest A/C in the world

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Heavenly origins

Lifeaholic | 6 November 2005, 12:10pm

Are men and women really from different planets? I haven't read the famous text whose title suggests the same, but the importance of the idea is second only to the idea of a certain Mr Darwin. Men and women are different creatures. This is pretty evident to everyone but the Bisexuals who, the author proposes, have come from the yet-to-be-discovered planet of Tuticorin. The reason for the elusiveness of this planet from Hubblers is that its orbit swings in both directions around the sun, depending on whether it is nearer to Venus or Mars.

The Hubblers are, of course, the most evolved exponents of the Voyeuristic philosophy of "Look, feel, touch and have a tissue ready"

But, I am guilty of digressing from the main plot. This endaevour (its likely that it would never end, so wouldn't be more appropriate to call it 'endnaevour'?)

Drat! Damn! My digressing fingers

As I was saying, this endNaevour is a result of a bleak hope to make some sense of the innumerable complications since the great migration to the Earth.

To do so, we must first take a look back into the situations as they were before the migration. Due to a freak occurence on the planet Venus, about a gazillion years ago, there was an uncontrolled binary fission of a single endometrial cell, which through constant mutations, turned into the Uterus. The Uterii were exposed to several million years of superheating by the Sun, and life was basically one very long hot flash.

This prompted the legendary 3992nd head Uterus - Ursula HeavyFlow to propagate the truly incredible idea of a protective shell to house the Uterii. This idea was received as any idea would be received in the midst of a hot flash and Ursula HeavyFlow died a premature death due to exposure to high-pitched screaming. However, when night set in and the planet surface cooled the Uterii, they realised the folly of their actions and in the Post-Menopausal honour of Ursula, they named the shell "Body" (The concept of a brain was not developed until the days of the 4223rd head Uterus).

To be continued...

Current Mood: Irreverent
Current Music: The sweet ringtone of accomplishment

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